A Hurried Man’s Guide to BDSM

1) Terminology

B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/S (Dominance and Submission) and S/M (Sadism and Masochism) is what this code word stands for. It involves erotic practices and role playing involving bondage, discipline, dominance, submission and sado-masochism. It is a sexual preference of two willing partners that may involve only one, few or all of the above.

2) Context

Let’s just say some like it missionary and some others prefer whips and handcuffs. BDSM is primarily a sexual expression or act, though not limited to the sexual context. Some partners like to play-act BDSM in their relationship through sensual dominance over each other.

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3) Rules of the game

BDSM is a game of power play in the sack where partners take up complementary and unequal roles. Partners who control the act or exert sexual dominance are called dominants or tops, partners who like being controlled or obedient are called submissives or bottoms (it is not gender specific). Blindfolds, cuffs, whips, chains and stuff are used to play out the roles.

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4) Consent is king

Consent is the key factor here (we are not even mentioning legal age considering everyone is aware that sexual act of any kind with a minor is a crime). Indulging in BDSM with a partner without his or her consent can land you in hot water, so remember to take explicit consent before indulging in your fantasy. Often people get into a contract on what is acceptable and not, before starting this love game.

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5) Fun or perversion?

BDSM is a preference, just like myriad other ticks and tricks two consenting people in a sexual relationship have. Some call it kink but calling it unnatural is taking it too far. As long as the partners have consented and don’t feel abused, it is perfectly okay.

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6) Drawing the line

If you or your partner are trying it out for the first time, and not sure if you would feel abused or how much to push forth, agree to keep a safe word or a symbol. This red flag can be raised if you feel the situation is going out of hand. If you don’t or your partner does not respect the safe word, consent can be revoked or legal complaint made, depending on the law of the land.

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